Oh procrastination, the elephant in the room, without you, of course, my work would be done on time as opposed to several hours before it's due, but life would be so dull without that thrill. Believe it or not though, there IS a way to do it correctly; that is the best way to procrastinate with minimal guilt feeling attached. How, you may ask ? Well, come closer, gentle viewer, and we shall see.
Do a crossword.
Because there's nothing more satisfying figuring out that "10, across: incendiarism, 5" is synonymous with "ARSON" (-thank you Harry Potter for sharpening up my Latin/derivative English skills).
Cryptic crossword: +5 satisfaction , -5 patience
*Bonus educational benefits that definitely make you feel more productive than if you were to, for example, watch a movie.
Watch a movie.
Convince yourself that the movie you're watching is a secondary resource. If you're doing physics, watch Watchmen or Iron Man; General science: Flubber or Nutty Professor; Literature: Any adaptation of something famous. Genius. You can also expand this concept to television series, but these can go either way. The episodes are short enough if you're planning on getting back to your work in due time, however, the lengthy story line can entice you to watch the next episode, then the next and the next, and 3 and a half hours later, you're drained and have wasted far more time than originally planned (= bad)
Bake something.
This one doesn't have much reasoning behind it. Food is good. Food is yummy. Food goes down into my tummy.
And so, when you find yourself eight days past the deadline of your work, there are only two options left: Get cracking, or
Fake your death.
Preferably choose a 'lost in the wilderness/presumed dead' option, rather than a fiery death, because dental forensics has come leaps and bounds in the last century, and the lack of a body to bury from disappearing in the mountains/amazon/bush etc etc. always leaves you the option to return to the world after a substantial amount of time has passed and the work due has been long forgotten.
Or you could always write a blog entry, as I am now doing instead of a 2000 word essay. BOOYAH.
